Maybe it's not love.  

Maybe it's lust.

Mabye rather, its that gross feeling that something feels good, but in the back of your mind you know its bad or wrong but you don't know why.

New Orleans,

I write you a love letter, but I honestly barely know you.

It is puppy love at best.

But you took care of my youngest son when he needed care, and you gave him experiences I didn't.

That is reason enough to love you, forget the blown-up streets and the terrible sidewalks and the remembrances of death everywhere.

A tarp roof section can be seen in every gust of wind.

I think places I've been are rough and tough and strong, but not like New Orleans.

In New Orleans a person could jump on you and stab you and you would die.

That can happen anywhere, but it feels likely in New Orleans...but not in a scary way - more like a roller coaster.

It's not like Las Vegas where everything is fake...here everything is very very real.

From the architecture spanning hundreds of years floating and bending and twisting in the wind, like a willow.

To the storefront VooDoo shops, which are fake ass voodoo but real ass shops for sucking bucks from tourists.

New Orleans, Thank you because never on any street in America prior to my visiting you had I seen naked people dancing on bars, visible to the street, and supported by most.

New Orleans, Thank you for letting my older son teach me a thing or two about being a compassionate human being.

To give away a cigarette to a man who asks for one is far more blessed 

thank to ignore or chide or belittle or deride.

To keep a pack of smokes, just to make new friends - that was a lesson, a genuine lesson, and we don't get lots of those in life.

New Orleans, where people can't be buried underground, and all the gates to visit are locked.

New Orleans, where music is one industry, next to sex and booze and fun.

I love you New Orleans, LA because you are dirty and gross but still so alluring.

I'm confused and sickened and drawn back and again.
There aren't many places in the world that I want to invest more time in, but New Orleans is one of them.

I could devote my life to getting to know the ins and outs of the people and the politics, but instead I just want to be another of your Johns.