Time On Job

There are times when you are inside one life routine and it gets interrupted by another routine. 

This compounding routine feels so out of routine that it feels new. 

There is a window of time when, like the easy time in a warm bed before you really come around where neither routine feels real enough to matter. 

I am thinking of the last days of a school year when a child - you go through the steps of walking to class and opening books and ignoring homework, but you're already gone. 

I had a few months of that my final year of high school when my girlfriend told me I'd be a father soon.

Ooh, when you have a new job lined up and you've already given notice - the veil of what is real and important is lifted and it feels like heavy covers slowly peeled down to the footboard.

But there are similar, but not the same times, when every routine feels equally real and unreal and important and unimportant and you are stuck vacillating ponging from crisis to crisis.

You try to recall the sweet relief from responsibility, but like the russian said "How can a warm man understand a cold one?"

The movie is there for playback, but the laughtrack is gone and you don't know when to wince.

Lately, I've been sitting down to my laptop and desk and if not wincing, then at least whinging. (win-jing look it up if you need to)

I try to manually force a balance between a career and salary and problems and desires of 15 states, along with a self-protective indifference, while concurrently trying to build the chrysalis that turns me into a different Chris.